Today I’d like to address a scourge on Society, a class of nefarious evildoers determined to corrupt the innocent and lead them down them the long, dark road of addiction. Of course I’m talking about the store employees at your local Krispy Kreme donut shop.
We’re Givin’ ’em Away!
Sometimes the siren song of that “Hot Donuts Now” sign is just too much to resist, and I find myself inexorably drawn into the parking lot. I never use the drive-through; I figure if I’m going to have a donut, the least I can do is get off my butt and walk into the store. The trouble is, nine times out of ten I am met at the door by a store employee holding out a hot, fresh, glazed donut and asking, “Would you like a free sample?” What am I going to say, no thanks, I’m just here for the coffee?
Now I am in a real bind. Even if I was totally committed to having ONE donut, I can’t possibly do that. You can’t just take your free donut and walk out. So now I figure I have to buy at least two donuts, and now I am looking at eating three donuts. And then you look at the pricing and it’s cheaper to buy a dozen than just a few. It’s either cottage cheese for dinner, or it’s time to get creative.
Paying Your Donuts Forward
Here’s a chance to save yourself calories and do something positive. Buy that dozen donuts and have ONE. What do you do with the rest? Take them to work with you; you’ll be incredibly popular. Take them to your kid’s school and give them to the secretaries at the main office. Take them to your local police station; you know how cops love donuts. Take them to a local nursing home or hospice facility. You will be amazed at how touched people can be by a gesture of kindness. They’ll smile, you’ll smile, and you won’t have to skip lunch.
You can do the same thing with any evil goodies. I bake at holiday time like Martha Stewart on crack, and I always load up a big box for my local police and local firefighters and deliver them on Christmas Eve as a thank you to the people missing Christmas with their familes just to keep me safe. But it doesn’t even have to be Christmas; most people are happy to get treats anytime. It’s a good thing to get to know your local police and firefighters; you might need them someday, and you won’t be a stranger. One year the firefighters actually invited me to dinner (hey, I brought dessert). And since those guys spend most of their on-call time working out, the eye candy will totally take your mind off the rest of the yummies in the box.
So have that donut, and dare the Donut Pusher to do his worst. (I actually call the manager of my local KK “Donut Pusher” and he smiles and says, “The first one’s free!”) Then relieve your guilt with a purchase, and find people to share it with. You just might make eleven friends.
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[…] Do I really want to lose weight? – Today I’d like to address a scourge on Society, a class of nefarious evildoers determined to corrupt the innocent and lead them down them the long, dark road of addiction. Of course I’m talking about the store employees at your local Krispy Kreme donut shop. […]