Do I Really Want to Lose Weight?

I don’t know, do you?

I am a healthy size 14, which apparently makes me the average American woman.  I would like to be a healthy size 12.  I was a size 10 before I had my son, but between the spreading of my ribs that he managed with his little baby knees plus developing actual breasts (Woo-hoo, real boobs!  Where were you when I needed a date for prom?), I doubt that’s in the cards.  But you never know.

I have reached a point in my life where I’ve learned a lot of personal truths, and one of them is this– skinny just does NOT feel as good as chocolate tastes.  I’m a fan of The Biggest Loser on TV and I love seeing people change their lives, but what I’d really love is to see the contestants sit down with doctors and trainers after the contest portion is over and develop a goal weight that will fit into their real lives while requiring no more than 2 workouts per week and permitting the occasional pizza.  By the end of the season, the contestants are so focused on losing weight that they are living at the gym and eating half the calories their healthy bodily functions require.  To no one’s surprise, they put on a fair bit of weight immediately after the show, and some of them get so depressed about it that they gain it ALL back and then some.  The contestants who manage to maintain their ultra-skinny weight are the ones who go professionally  into training, motivational speaking, or spokesmanship, where they are in effect being paid to stay skinny.

When Skinny Wins

If your major life goals include wanting to work in media or entertainment, you want to lose weight.  Media is brutal.  Unless you’re Kathy Bates, you can’t work in television and eat pie.  On the other hand, you’ll likely be well compensated in money and prestige.  Is that what you want?

Do you want your significant other to be a smokin’  hot hardbody?  Then you’d better be the same, if for no other reason than that people who look like that spend a lot of time in the gym.  If you’re not there as well, you’ll never see your honey, and other hardbodies will.  Is that what you want?

Ask yourself if there is something you want to have or do that you can’t, solely because of your weight.  It’s not about whether you love yourself.  Self-esteem is incredibly complex, and whatever the weight-loss industry would like you to think, it’s almost totally unrelated to your weight.  I know skinny people who feel worthless, and fat people who think they are the greatest thing since sliced bread, both equally without objective basis.  Changing the number on the scale will not change the voices in your head.

…On the Other Hand…

Everything in life is a trade-off.  I love good food, good wine, and relaxation, and that means either I’m going to have to be brutal with the rest of my time and calories, or it means I’m going to carry a few extra pounds.  So I do.  My husband doesn’t mind (and as long as his BMI exceeds mine, he’d better not).  My blood chemistry is normal.  I’m fit enough to walk where I want, run up and down stairs, and go swing dancing.  I’m in no shape to run a marathon, but then, I don’t want to run a marathon.

Unless your butt is too big for the airline seat, your weight is probably not what’s keeping you from traveling.  Unless you are so large that you are styling fashions by Omar the Tentmaker in an office where tailored suits are the standard dress, your weight is probably not keeping you from professional development.  And it’s definitely not keeping you from finding love.  If you want to walk the runway, lose weight.  If your knees hurt when you walk, lose weight.  If your glucose numbers are off, lose weight.  But know why you want to lose weight, and be realistic about how much you want to lose versus how you want to live.